“Dear netbook makers, whoever you are — I don’t know your names because we don’t pay any attention to you, but we know you’re out there, polluting the world with your cheap, ugly, underpowered machines — but here is my command: Surrender and prepare to be boarded. Yes, you’ve been pwned. We told you we didn’t care about the netbook market, so you went ahead with your plans, but now we’re about to put you out of business — iTablet is in the final stages, which means Apple will be taking over the market you created and then reinventing it in such a way that it immediately becomes 10 times bigger than it used to be, and all the money goes to Apple.”
When Dan Lyons gets into a groove, he really hits the mark. Welcome back FSJ.